heaven on earth

damn

2010-10-16T19:21:00.011+08:00

I'm not having a really fascinating day/week/month to tell you about. Since it's been a long time that I last wrote an entry, i guess i should write something though this entry is just mainly about Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V processes.

It's not that interesting but still, do read it :">

Bold what applies to you.

My personality:
I’m loud.
I’m obnoxious.
I’m sarcastic.
I’m cocky.
I cry easily.
I have bad temper.
For the most part I don’t like people.
I’m easy to get along with.
I have more enemies than friends. LOL
I’ve smoked.
I’ve smoked weed.
I drink coffee.
I clean my room daily.

My appearance:
I wear makeup.
I wear a piece of jewellery at all times.
I wear contacts.
I wear glasses.
I have braces.
I change my hair colour often.
I straighten my hair often.
I have a piercing.
I have small feet.

Relationships:
I’m in a relationship now.
I'm single.
I’m crushin’.
I’ve missed an ex before.
An ex has physically abused me at least once.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve been in love more than two times.
I believe in love at first sight.
I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships:
I have a best friend.
I have at least ten friends.
I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
I’ve beaten up a friend.
I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life.

Experiences:
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been on a train
Someone close to me has died.
I’ve taken a taxi.
I’ve taken a city bus.
I’ve taken a school bus.
I’ve gone bungee jumping.
I’ve made a speech.
I’ve been in some sort of club.
I’ve won an award.
I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.
I’ve been in a physical fight.
Music:
I listen to R&B.
I listen to country.
I listen to pop.
I listen to techno.
I listen to rock.
I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it.
I hate the radio.
I download music.
I buy CD’s.

Television:
I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
I watch soap operas daily.
I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
I've seen and liked the O.C.
I've seen and liked One Tree Hill.
I've seen and liked Popular.
I've seen and liked 24.
I’ve seen and liked CSI.I've seen and liked Everwood.

Hair:
I've been brown.
I’ve had streaks.
I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
I’ve been blonde.
I’ve had black.
I’ve been red.
I've been light brown.
I’ve been medium brown.
I’ve been blue/green.
I’ve had my hair thinned.
I use conditioner.
I’ve used silk therapy.
I’ve used hot oil treatments.
I’ve curled my hair.
I’ve straightened my hair
I’ve braided my hair.

School:
I’ve yelled at a teacher.
I’ve been suspended.
I’ve had an in-school suspension.
I’ve been sent to the principal’s office.
I’ve walked out of class.
I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
I’ve failed Art.
I’ve failed P.E.
I’ve failed math.
I’ve failed science.
I’ve failed another class.
A teacher has called my parents.

This is a good trick for those blogger yang takda idea nak tulis apa, tapi still nak post something. but in the end, i still think it's much better than posting about makan babi tehehehehehehe :">

mind-blowing

2010-09-17T09:44:00.003+08:00

zzzzz. tak paham aku. illuminati lagi

p/s : I think I love you

current obsession

2010-09-05T07:48:00.006+08:00

Hey guys, I'm back. Now with few things to share. Not too much. Just few simple observations and ANALysis.

Recognize this? No it's not the symbol of Garena or something. You bullshitting me? You really don't know? C'mon guys. Okay, let's take it easy. It's one of the masonic symbol. Freemason

( freemanson for some. makes you looks stupid by the way)

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Current obsession. Hurm, how should I start this.. Okay, off we go.

Conspiracy Theory. It's cool to have one of those fricking theory about all those things happening around us every single moment. But WHAT??? Why would all of you put all your pathetic theories in every single thing in this so-called "DARK TIMES : Where All Shits Happened Were Caused By Illuminati" world? Well, it's a theory by the way. Theories can't be proven wrong if there are no proofs saying their wrong aite mate? So I'm not saying all of you are wrong. But I never said it IS right, too.

Okay you know what people? Reading conspiracy theories are just as fascinating as watching stripping_and_dancing_around.3gp for guys. Just as fascinating as recording stripping_and_dancing_around.3gp and send it to your boyfriend for girls. BUT, there's always a butt. I mean, but. It's not fascinating to scroll along your news feeds in facebook, and all things you've read on those are ;

Illuminati

Freemason

Teluk Anson

Najib Freemason

Lady Gaga Setan

666

Oi apahal

No it's not fascinating at all. In fact, it is annoying and it is getting more annoying if you tag all your friends in those.

On top of that, why would everything be related to Illuminati/Freemason ? I don't know, and I don't give a shit. If everything are related, how are we supposed to live in this world anymore? dig in deeper to the earth's core? sneak in deep to the woods? build bunkers all around the world? holy shit, ini sungguh mengarut. Enough with all the crap guys.

If this phenomenon is still going on, I'm afraid there will be a time where you guys will hear a dialog such as this;

Abu : Maaa, I want to get married. with this chikaro.

(showing his Ma the picture)

Ma : Oh nooo sweetie, you cannot marry this girl. absolute-fucking-ly no. okay sweetie?

Abu : but Maaaa, whyyy????

Ma : She's obviously has illuminati thingy. I cannot believe that my son, my only sugar would fall for this girl. Oh son, you made me sad.

Abu : How do you know? Oh no Maaa, I need to break up with her. This is serious matter Ma.

Ma : See this son. They do have some resemblance right? Be safe son. I wish you luck dearie.

(his Ma shows another picture)

Towards the end, it seems like the world is getting weirder. With clowns as its inhabitant. You guys are funny yaww.

p/s : funny thing about you is I never really have you.

Before and After

2010-09-03T15:32:00.005+08:00

it's been some time since my last entry. I've been a little bit busy. then this time i'm gonna talk about some things that we might not notice, but the people around us notice them.

long story short, the things I'm gonna talk about are similarities between people recently in love and people recently broken up. and, here are few things that show the similarities between these two group of people.

1) Constantly staring at their mobile phone. short-sighted people are not included in this case, peeps. In love people ( IL ) will constantly waiting for their loved ones to call them. broken up people ( BU ) will constantly waiting for their loved(past tense) ones to reply their 140th sms.

2) Emotionally unstable. eh susah la tulih omputeh. ha camni lah, tuka bahasa lah. emosi tak stabil. IL ni, kalau pakwe kensel date terus nangis tak hingat punya. leleh tahap lagu Sheila On 7. BU pulak. kalau lecturer kensel kelas, terus mengamuk tak hingat punya. emosi tak stabil la tu. tengok cite korea pun dah meruang. tu belum lagi bukak henpon tengok balik sms dulu-dulu dengan ex dia tu. lepas tu bila emosi tak stabil ni, typo is expected. baru aku perasan aku tulis "meraung" as "meruang".

sikit-sikit mau teriak.

3) All love/breakup songs are their songs. yang ni lagi kronik. IL ni kalau jumpa love songs ada sipi-sipi sikit dengan love life dia, jenuh roommate nak tahan telinga dengar lagu dia play kat winamp. ulang-ulang dengar cukup office hours. 8am - 5pm. BU ni lagi nyampah. sampai je breakup songs ada sipi-sipi sikit dengan breakup life dia, jenuh roommate nak tahan telinga dengar dia nangis. baru lagu cry me a river ter play kat laptop roommate, dia dah sedu-sedu. tu belum masuk chorus lagi. meraung tak hingat punya.

sekali caller ringtone member pun cry me a river da...

ah sudah. roommate pasang cry me a river lak time-time camni.

p/s : You told me you loved me,Why did you leave me

pic credits from here

virginity issue

2010-07-22T02:24:00.005+08:00

this is a serious matter dude.

is it a sin to not being a virgin? c'mon, seriously guys (by guys, i mean the ones with a lump of meat hanging around between their thighs). is it truly a sin? is it so freakingly bad to not possess virginity anymore? the Law says no. the Religion says no. the government....don't care.

now, we're getting to the point.

i've heard, seen, experienced lots of moments with guys. there are these group of guys (by guys, i mean the ones with a lump of meat hanging around between their thighs) who says, proudly, arrogantly, that they will never marry non-virgins. now tell me, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? i'm asking you, you, and YOU.

who gives you the right to despise them? who gives you the right to not accept them? who gives you the right to judge them? you're out of your mind. Son, i am disappointed. excuse me, correction. you're not my son. in fact, you don't deserve to be a part of my bloodline at all.

let me tell you readers a story. simple one. just a few minutes to completely read and digest all of it.

once upon a time. there was a couple. they decided to get married. few months after their engagement, the girl confessed something. she said that, she's not a virgin anymore. she said that she's no longer pristine which by definition is :

• PRISTINE (adjective)
The adjective PRISTINE has 2 senses:

1. completely free from dirt or contamination
2. immaculately clean and unused

she confessed to that because she knew that her future husband needed to know about it. that he will not be the first guy she's sleeping with. her intention was pretty humble. she just wanted to make their relationship lie-free. just honesty, and pure love. long story short, engagement broke off. the guy seems pissed off like there's no tomorrow. and the girl was left at a cafe crying on her knees. and they will never live happily ever after. THE END.

now lemme ask you (by you, i mean the guy in the story), why would you leave her? because she's not a virgin? screw you dickhead.

she's honest enough to tell you that she's not a virgin. she's brave enough to admit to you, yes you dickhead, that despite all the things going on her mind (wedding planner, the feast, all the decorations, pinggan mangkuk, kontrak kenduri etc etc). in the end why would you choose to leave her? where did you study huh? did you ever learn Pendidikan Islam in your school? or you're just a stupid asshole. your brain got stuck with all the 3gp in your "ehem-ehem" folder?

Syarat bakal isteri

Islam
Perempuan
Bukan perempuan mahram dengan bakal suami
Bukan seorang khunsa
Bukan dalam ihram haji atau umrah
Tidak dalam idah
Bukan isteri orang

see for yourself. ada ciri-ciri takda dara takble kawen? mana blajaq oi? spm hang amek ka dak?

lemme ask you some more. what did you do so good that you deserve a completely virgin wife? did you ever fap? no? never? too bad dude. i've caught ya.

Sue Johanson, sex educator and counselor, 2000 : "99 percent of men of all ages masturbate regularly and the other one percent are liars." source

let me hear it again, did you ever fap? c'mon, let's be honest now, no one will know. just between you and me. and, of course the readers. clearly. so clearly you guys (by guys, i mean the ones with a lump of meat hanging around between their thighs) are not pristine too. you're not innocent. your sin piled up like crap in a dump site. you're no good too. you're just some asshole wanting a fresh candidate to satisfy your small, thin, erectile-dysfunctional dick.

of course we will not let the blame goes straight to the guys' faces. why you girls sacrifice your virgin to guys who'll not be responsible for that? but that is the past right. same goes to you guys. it's the past, her past. don't judge people by their pasts. it's not relevant, it's not worthy of your time. the girl in the story must have repented by the time she confessed to the guy right? so why don't you sack it up and be a man. if you're really in love with her, you must be disappointed, but breaking off the engagement? way to go, champ. now let's go find you a new virgin. with tattoos.

p/s : serious entry. serious matters don't need pictures.

a,b,c,d........

2010-07-15T12:12:00.002+08:00

hey fellas, as far as I'm concern, there must be some young readers out there reading my blog right? thus, this entry is specifically targeted to you guys out there. :">

we're gonna learn the basics of the basic. speaking of basics, words are basic. sentences are complicated. to learn how to build the basics, you need to have the basics of it(basic). hehe, now you're confused.

the basics of word is alphabet.

...............

we're gonna learn that.

..............

seriously guys.

..............

never mind, I'll just start listing the alphabets.

there you go, complete list of the alphabets. now don't complain. byebye

p/s : you're my only one, and still be my only one.

secret recipe

2010-07-14T16:49:00.006+08:00

nahh, I'm not talking bout the freakingly expensive restaurant with such small servings. how on earth did you guys can fill up your stomach with just a piece of cake for RM7++ ??? aigoo.

now, I'm going to tell all of you the secret of increasing the popularity of your blog. no, it doesn't requires any procedure of Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V on anywhere on the Net. it requires a lot of time and yes, tremendous patience.

Step 1

bookmark your own blog in your web browser (e.g IE, Google Chrome, Netscape, Firefox, etc)

Step 2

click the link on the bookmark to your blog

Step 3

keep clicking your blog, but now do it through "open in new tab"

Step 4

keep..clicking......until.....your.....pc....crashed

there! you've done it. for me, it requires about 145 tabs before my pc gone nuts. now you've got 145 views on your blog. and it's FOR FREE!

teeheee. its fun watching your "readers" piling up like crazy everyday. now, all of you know why sometimes there's a blog with views of 500000++, isn't it?

now, I've included some graphic example to give you guys clearer picture of what I'm talking bout okayy.

BEFORE

AFTER

see the viewers count there? wow, in 10 seconds my blog's got another 10hits from the readers!

click pictures for bigger resolution.

p/s : treat others like how you want them to treat you, bitch.

pengakuan berani

2010-07-08T13:41:00.004+08:00

lately, i've fallen for a certain girl. but rest assured. i'm SETIA.

but, in order to get a certain guy to confess, it's kinda hard. because he keeps denying it. but luckily my plan today was working perfectly. using a quite nice distraction to make him join the conversation, a nice build up on the subject, up to a certain point, i changed the subject. And look! he fell for it. teeeheee :"> sorry dude.

.......

for privacy reason, his name has been wiped out. unfortunately for you guys out there. i'm such a good friend. am i not?

p/s: women can fake an orgasm, but men can fake an entire relationship.

in response of

2010-07-07T13:08:00.007+08:00

this entry is actually a response for this entry.

i'm not gonna comment on anything. picture speaks a thousand words.

<---klik la. baru nampak besar

teehee. caught'ya.

p/s : Run Devil Run by SNSD(Cover) by Nur Amalia

holy cow. you're ugly

2010-07-07T12:27:00.004+08:00

have you ever been rejected before? have you ever wonder why would you be rejected? are you not good enough, not good-looking enough, ugly, ugly, fucking ugly? no, i don't think you would find the answer. well then, here i am with some brilliant deductions! er, not actually my deductions. please forgive my shameful act.

....

okay, if you're a guy and you've been rejected lately.

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean)

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of Gollum in LOTR)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my dad)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've already got a boyfriend (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).

5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (It's definitely you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is much better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate. (Only to the men like you.)

and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it really means)

1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.)

....

now, let's move on to you girls. yes YOU! ever wonder why no one whistling to you when you pass by them? why you never got a surprise birthday card in your locker? pity you. you must be burnt by jealousy towards your desk-mates, roommates, house-mates, playmates who always receive big, fat, gigantic presents from guys. let's check it out why you always be the one left behind.

....

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually mean)

10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)

6. I've already got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)

5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)

2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)

and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)

<---this is you. don't deny it.

source

p/s : hati yang kau sakiti by rossa(cover) by Nur Amalia

Sick Thought

2010-07-05T19:08:00.008+08:00

okay, bayangkan ada dua(2) remaja muda trang tang-tang. sorang dipanggil A dan sorang lagi dipanggil B. dapat bayang tak? dapat tak? dua-dua umur 20. tak dapat lagi? nah, aku letak sekali biodata tiap-tiap remaja ni. gila lambat pikap hangpa ni.

Remaja A

Amri ( bukan nama sebenar )
20 tahun
merokok
menghisap dadah
kaki tonggang
kaki isap gam
kaki clubbing tak hingat punya
mat romen
kapir gila babi
anak durhaka

Remaja B

Amrizal ( bukan nama sebenar )
20 tahun
tidak merokok
tidak menghisap dadah
tidak tonggang
tidak isap gam
tidak clubbing nak hingat macam mana
tidak romen
tidak kapir macam mana nak gila babi
tidak durhaka

okay. pendekkan cerita. mereka berdua ni bakal menerima nasib yang serupa; Dilanggar bas Plusliner yang menuju ke Terengganu.

ngahahaha. kes macam ni selalu aku pikir masa aku budak-budak. aku pikir macam ni ; "eleh, baik sangat pun nanti mati gak kene gelek ngan ketapi. baik aku gi main guli je. tak payah semayang". berkat pemikiran aku yang dikira agak genius berbanding rakan sebaya aku, aku telah menerima beberapa das lentikan rotan di buah betis aku yang mulus ini oleh bapakku yang tercinta. dulu lah. sekarang tak hingat punya banyak bulu. betul la kan? sapa tak pernah pikir macam ni? ala, mengaku jelah. "aku tonggang sekali je ni, agak-agak nak kantoi nanti aku stop la." "hik.hik.hik. *mabuk* aku janji ni last aku togak. pasni tak buat dah" "idup lame lagi bai. bile lagi nak enjoy-enjoy macam dalam drama melayu tu bai..*gelek-gelek* "

*penulis masih dalam keadaan mabuk dan high. sebelum menamatkan entry, beliau masih sempat memberikan peringatan kepada pembaca yang masih muda remaja*

p/s: marilah kita semua menderma dare..*hik*

things not to do on the first date - for guys

2010-06-29T19:30:00.008+08:00

Sharing The Food

who the hell wants a fucking stingy boyfriend? saving for the rainy days is a good habit, but it will not give any positive first impression towards the girl you're seeing. of all things, why would you risk an opportunity of a lifetime just to save few ringgits? being thrifty is only applicable if you are a manager of a thrift store, you cheapskate. there is not a single bit of romance there by sharing the food on the first date. Nada. save your romantic self for another day, or date. an act of sharing food between couples is only appropriate if ; (1) you've been dating for more than a month, (2) you're sick and lying on the bed. your partner would feed you. which clearly not gonna happen on the first date. (3) both you and your partner are food judges for a cooking show, and you will share the food with your partner. (4) your country is in a state of war, there's no peace anywhere, all you got is just a piece of bread, then you can share it with your partner. i'm not gonna say you're stingy or whatever. i'll just pray for your safety. Amen.

Being Too Romantic

some chicks dig it, some don't. most girls around me hate it when the guy being overly romantic on the first date. it just gives the impression that the guy is such a player.

they will all be like

seriously guys. i'm not telling you to just be yourself on the very first date. being yourself is just bullshit nowadays. there will be no second date for you if you act too romantic. opening the car's door, wiping out the food on her cheek, trying to feed her, pouring food on her plate, fingering her..wtf guys? that is soo Yusof Haslam's style.

now, its not just the girl. but all the people around you would go like

Drama King

DO......NOT. it's pathetic. fullstop.

Talking Marriage

Rome was not built in a day, my son. so does love. there's no way in hell she's gonna say "I do" the first time you met her. that's...that's ridiculous. so take it easy, champ. one step at a time. make her believe that you're the one she's been looking for. show that you're not some pathetic weakling ~~pancut cepat~~ type of guy.

err.. am i boring you?

well then, bye. and GTFO.

p/s : i'm not a weakling ~~pancut cepat~~ type of guy.

don't come inside

2010-06-28T21:05:00.005+08:00

have you ever heard of the term; porn? well, if you haven't heard of it, there are two possibilities of who you are. a dumbass who failed in English, or you're deaf. you couldn't hear it aite? hehe.

porn is the portrayal of explicit sexual subject matter for the purposes of sexual excitement and erotic satisfaction. credit to this.

albeit its bad influences to the community, it does has its own contributions. the most flagrant example is Sex Education. heh, how i wish it was taught in my school. by learning the correct way to guide your utmost desire to the correct and legal channel, besides your religion's law obviously, there will be no more headlines like this. in addition, guys will never waste their sperm again. so, guys. be a man, do the right thing.

well, i'm still not getting to my point yet. i'm gonna explain about a media of portraying porn.

well, it does sound familiar, doesn't it?

no clue?

what?

you have no idea at all bout what i'm talking?

.........

still not getting it?

duh, it's PHONE SEX, for god's sake.

you want me to elaborate?

hmmm, i think a picture would suffice.

..........

there you go.

p/s : men are liars, women are bitches.

4 Signs Showing You're Committing Crime

2010-06-23T12:23:00.005+08:00

Well, to be precise, these signs only happen IF, and only IF;

a) You're a goddamn amateur criminal

b) You're a nerd trying to prove your worth

c) You're just a small-time law-breaker. This ain't happening to pros.

d) This is your first time doing it. Still virgin. oops, i ain't talking bout sex dude.

ERRATIC HEARTBEAT.

You're breathing heavily. You're sweating. Everything's blurry. Your heart ain't beating fast nor slow. It's just unexplained situation. You start hearing your own heartbeat. Isn't that creepy? Every movement of yours feels useless. It's just like swimming in an ocean of sand. Very, very, very creepy. Seriously, guys.

SIXTH SENSE COMES ALIVE.

It's true. It's fucking true. Proof? Say, you're a boarding school student. One night, there are 5,6 friends of yours invited you to join their little expedition. This expedition, we can just name it, "Mission : Fly". Starting from the backyard of the school's garage. A cat comes running towards MF's group. No one realized it yet. But you already sensed it half a mile before. You would go, "Wei, cibai. warden datang beb. Aku dengar. Siyes shit doh". Isn't it great. You're a superhuman! HOORRAY. Now, every little details all around you will be detected by your sixth sense. Pfftt. Then few minutes later, a cat's happily doing its catwalk in front of your MF group. Despite getting a pat on your head, you'll receive a different response. It's called Luku Pala. Really hurts.

EYES GROW ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD.

Not literally you dumbfuck. This time, as a noob, your blood pressure will be the fastest to climb among all your MF group members. You'll be the most kalut. You start seeing your side view and rear view too. But with a heavy price. You try to see all around you by looking left and right continuously. That is so noob of you. What the fuck is wrong with you dude? There are 7 people in MF group. Everyone just takes their own side of view. Was that too hard? How noob of you, son.

EVERY HUMAN BEING IS YOUR ACQUAINTANCE

"Wei, tu bukan warden kita ka" , "Shit, tu bukan bapak hang ka" , "Ah, sudah. Pengetua dowh" , "Ei, babi. Macam mana pakcik aku boleh ada kat sini" , "Cover aku wei, tu jiran aku". Can you please clear up your frigging mind and try to see it clearly? It's just a guy who happens to be there. It's just some transvestites waiting for customers dude. Instead getting booed by your MF group members, you'll end up being a piece of douchebag in this entry. Sucks to be you.

Well done readers. You've finished reading. Remember, this is just a theory. And an attempt of making fun of nerds who try to be cool. Pity them. Till next time, byebye.

p/s : Shouldn't there be a way to overcome these signs?

Serious shit. Seriously

2010-06-21T21:48:00.010+08:00

Musim-musim beginilah, dapat kita perhatikan jenis-jenis penyokong pasukan bolasepak. Musim apa? Ha, yang itu la yang kita.....*lame sial ayat camni*. Musim World Cup. K, enough small talk and let's get back to business alright mate?

SPESIES GLORY HUNTER aka TAKMAU MALU JIKA TEAM KALAH SEMASA NONTON BOLA DI MAPLEY (T.M.J.T.K.S.N.B.D.M)

Golongan ini paling shit perangai. Mereka selalunya kurang pengetahuan am berkenaan bolasepak. Seringkali dapat dilihat mereka ini menyokong Manchester United dengan berbekalkan pengetahuan bahawa David Beckham masih memegang jersi no 7 di Old Trafford. Ini dapat dibezakan dari penyokong hardcore Man U apabila kita membandingkan jersi yang dipakai kedua-dua jenis penyokong. Satu pakai jersi AIG sponsor, yang lagi satu pakai Vodafone/Sharp/Cap Siam. Eh, jauh nya melalut aih. Dalam WC 2010 ni, kita dapat lihat ada golongan T.M.J.T.K.S.N.B.D.M ini kebanyakannya menyokong Itali, Brazil, Spain, Argentina. Sebabnya mudah ; Itali juara edisi 2006, Brazil juara 5 kali, Spain juara Eropah 2008, Argentina...ada Messi. (yang sokong Portugal tu lak, sah-sah pompuan). Mereka sama sekali tidak akan menganalisis line-up, formasi, apatah sepatah haram pun tentang strategi pasukan yang disokong. Apparently, they're not risk-takers. Foolish, bloody coward. Suckers. Burn in hellpit. Armpit itam. Sebabnya? Sebab nanti bila sudah tamat WC, mula la keluar status facebook, "Aku da lama agak, Brazil/Spain/Italy/Argentina/Portugal msti menang punya ah" walhal kalau sebut Michel Fernandes Bastos pun belum tentu mereka tahu natang apakah itu.

SPESIES COMMENTATOR WANNABE aka HASBULLAH AWANG VERSI MAPLEY

Golongan ini mungkin di mata rakan sebayanya adalah golongan yang ramah, mesra, berilmu dan penuh pengetahuan am serta pandai menutur butir-butir perkataan dari bibir mungil mereka. Setiap kali match, tersedia satu ruang untuk mereka duduk/melepak. Selalunya di depan hujung kanan. Mereka ini jarang duduk, hanya terkinja-kinja. Duduk hanya bila order dah sampai. Roti kosong, tamau kari, kasi gula. Air....kosong. Mereka akan cuba mengulas seiring dengan pengulas yang sedang mengulas di tv. Bezanya cuma, mereka akan menyebut setiap nama pemain yang dapat dilihat. Kalau berkemampuan, mereka akan sebut nama tok nenek pemain itu sekali lengkap dengan salasilah keluarga isteri pemain. Dengan berbuat demikian, rakan-rakan mereka akan mula kagum. Kagum dengan apa? Kagum dengan pengetahuan tentang pemain-pemain tu la. Takkan kagum dengan keindahan alam. Zzzz. Golongan ini disamakan dengan Hasbullah Awang kerana mereka sering tersilap. Mereka akan selalu cuba menonjolkan ilmu, atau in this case; their knowledge about football. Malangnya, pengetahuan mereka itu hanya terhad kepada apa yang mereka dapat dari PES, FIFA10. Kalau yang jarang silap tu mungkin selalu main Football Manager. Sebab info dia detail sikit. Dan mereka ini suka buat lawak bising. Lawak bising = trying to make jokes by shouting. bikin satu mapley dengaq. zzz. orang lain pun tau gak la. fuck

SPESIES ENGLAND

Golongan ini tak ada penerangan lanjut. Tapi ada contoh. Chap

SPESIES LALANG MELIUK LENTUK DIBUAI ANGIN

Ibarat lalang, ditiup angin. Sekilas layu ke utara, kemudian ke selatan. Bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian. Gunung Daik bercabang tiga, Gunung Scha Alyahya berkembar dua. Di awal peringkat perlawanan, akan cuba menyokong nama-nama besar. Hujung-hujung tu mula la sokong pasukan mengarut. E.g ; WC 2002. Sapa ngaku dia sokong Korea Selatan dari awal? Bila da masuk quarter-final suma pakat cat kaler Korea kat pipi. Kejadahnya semua ini. Golongan ini ibarat lalang. Sekejap England, dah start lingkup tukar Germany, kena tapau dengan Serbia, tukar Brazil, nampak Portugal mufliskan Korea Utara, Portugal pulak.

SPESIES KHAIRUL AZHAR aka PULUN

"Aku mana ada team, hat mana yang menang tu aku sokong la. Ini la hat orang kata tu, play safe"

p/s : miss our moments together in the canteen at 2.30am

Batman Returns. Parody

2010-06-21T00:52:00.005+08:00

Aku pi seberang laut itu hari. Aku dok sana 10 hari. Banyak jugak menatang aku belajaq. Aku belajaq cara bagi signal kereta, cara melintas jalan, dan cara memandu dengan sepenuh fokus. Kat sana aku speaking, peh. Siap ada accent tu. Tu baru dok 10 ari. Kalo 10 taun? Mau dick pon dah sama saiz dengan rakyat sana.

Masa aku pi sana tu, winter. Sejuk tatt, kata junior aku masa kat sekolah dulu. Meluat memang tak hingat masa tu. La ni dok pakai gak la kadang-kadang, bila nak tarik attention sikit. Kat facebook, "Crita ironman 2 bosan tattt ah". Nanti ada la 4,5 budak sekolah aku komen. Bila ramai orang komen, baru rasa style. Ye dok?

Aku belajaq gak la camana nak jimat ayaq kat sana. Rupa-rupanya selama ni kawan-kawan aku dok oversea, depa tak boleh basoh berak abih. Paip takdak. Patutla ramai yang stress ja. Dok teringat kat Melesia jamban suma boleh pancut sana sini. Kesiann. Aku punya la excited basoh berak pakai ayaq botoi ja. 10 ari boleh tahan la kot. Mau dok sana 4,5 taun? Aku pon boleh masuk wad psikiatri. Tensen wo.

Isy, takpa la. Nak post banyak sangat pun bukan ada orang baca. Kang ada yang letak kat komen tu tl;dr. Mau high blood pressure aku baca komen tu. Ok lah, eh. eh. Aku pon teringin nak letak ruangan p/s: kat hujung post.

p/s : i learnt how to pronounce 'bitch' with the correct accent, in the end i'll just say 'babi'